FROM A FAN – How I Got Swagger Story #1
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This one comes to us from a dude in New Hampshire… pretty cool story about how he learned to make it happen. Take it away!
“When it comes down to swagger, you either got it or you don’t.” -My Friend, being incorrect…
When I first started going out, that’s what my poor friend would remind me. Little did I know that he is the embodiment of bad advice. Even though his bad advice got us nowhere, we didn’t know what else to do! Not to mention his confidence in bad jokes; to top it off he is the type of “comedian” that swears that women didn’t laugh at his jokes because it went over their heads… you know, THAT kind of comedian…
When I tried to flirt, I was so shy that I couldn’t articulate any of the jokes or icebreakers my friend told me to say. Of course these were terrible to begin with, but I didn’t know any better. As a result of my lack of success with the ladies, my friend dubbed me, “loser”. A crappy title, even worse because I believed that I just wouldn’t be the suave gentleman I wished to be… ever. As a result our further exploits had me mostly silent, smiling, and feeling really awkward—while my friend would be loud and obnoxious.
Obviously, neither of us could pick up any girls!
That is, until I found my swagger. One night my friend decided to go solo and leave me at the bar to ponder the thoughts of becoming a monk and sealing myself away from society. Across the bar I saw a guy trying really hard (and failing) to talk to a few girls. He was so bad that in his desperation, I think I heard a knock, knock, joke. Even I’ve never been that bad! But I understood where he was coming from.
And right as the girls were about to sing a chorus of cruel giggles, I decided to be a hero: the kind of hero that takes a bullet for the innocent bystander. I walked over and told the worst joke I ever heard in my life, which happened to be my friend’s favorite joke. As I uttered the last word, confident in the wave of ridicule coming my way, the group of girls busted up laughing. It turns out that in my delivery of the bad joke I was so confident that they believed I was being ironic! So I let loose with one bad joke after another. At the end of the night the guy got a number from one of the girls and I got two of the girls’ numbers (one wanted to be a friend, the other was interested in other activities) and walked away with the confidence of finding my swagger.
It’s been smooth sailing since. I’ve even been told that I have become a total social butterfly these days! Luckily, I have ditched the jokes. Because really, it was not the jokes that those ladies like—it was me! Me being cool, confident, and taking control of crappy scenario is the key.
My friend? Well he still thinks that swagger is something you are born with. I think he is confusing ‘swagger’ with a ‘sense of humor’… or having no clue.
Great work, Michael M. Hope more guys follow suit.