True Story #1: A Man and His Balloon

Posted on 21 September 2011   Epic Fail, From Andrea, True Story

Hello from Andrea… I got a true story for you. Check this out…

I was standing in front of a cool hip bar a hot chick is waiting for her friend. A drunk guy stumbled over, holding a halfway deflated balloon. He says to her “why are you not inside?” then takes a big inhale of his balloon.

She looks and him and lies.  “Uh.. I’m not old enough,” thinking that this little lie will repel any further conversation.

Nearly falling over he says ” WHAT?? Oh my god how old are you then?! I’m a teacher and I mean… wow!  How OLD are you??”

The security guard begins to laugh.

Politely the girl answers “Uh… Sorry, I have to leave.”  She walks into the bar.

That poor guy. He honestly had no clue why the girl did not find him funny or intriguing. Probably because he was in his 30’s and sucking out of a balloon… sucking what?  No one knows. It could have been that he was piss drunk and ogling her shamelessly. But worst of all, he was acting completely desperate.

Come on man, you are a teacher! Set an example and don’t get hammered first and then try to talk to smokin’ hot super model types. I am sure if he was a little more sober, he might have lost the balloon, straightened himself up, and read her social cues a little better. Maybe she would not have been totally grossed out by you and talked to you.

The moral of the stories kiddies: don’t get so wasted you lose composure.

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